Then think about how as well as what they're saying. Start with listening out for the key words and phrases that they use, particularly if they use them repeatedly. Use your ears, eyes and 'gut instincts' to understand the entire message that they're communicating. Listen carefully to what someone is trying to tell you. Practice the following techniques frequently so that they start to become second nature. Then, you can recognize behavior that appears at first sight to be over emotional, stubborn, or unreasonable as simply a reaction based on a person's prior knowledge and experiences. To use empathy effectively, you need to put aside your own viewpoint and see things from the other person's perspective. But this doesn't mean that you're doomed to fail! You may struggle to show empathy initially – you could be nervous about committing yourself emotionally, or feel unable to do so. But best of all is putting aside some time for them, and offering practical support or guidance on getting through the situation and preparing for next time. Acknowledging their hurt is valuable, and affirming their reaction by showing signs of those feelings yourself even more so. It involves not only having concern for another person, and sharing their emotional pain, but also taking practical steps to reduce it.įor example, imagine that one of your team members is upset and angry because he or she delivered an important presentation badly. Compassionate EmpathyĬompassionate empathy is the most active form of empathy. But empathy is most valuable when it's combined with action. It helps to build trust between managers and team members, and to develop honesty and openness. Īnyone leading a team will benefit from developing at least some emotional empathy. You can avoid this kind of emotional generosity burnout by taking breaks, checking your boundaries, and strengthening your ability to cope in such a demanding role. This is particularly true if they don't feel able to resolve the situation. People with strong empathic tendencies can become immersed in other people's problems or pain, sometimes damaging their own emotional well-being. It's not just a matter of knowing how someone feels, but of creating genuine rapport with them.įor some of us, this kind of empathy can be overwhelming. It's sometimes called 'affective empathy' because it affects or changes you.

Emotional EmpathyĮmotional empathy is the ability to share the feelings of another person, and so to understand that person on a deeper level. For example, those with a Machiavellian personality trait may use cognitive empathy to manipulate people who are emotionally vulnerable. This means that some people use it for negative purposes. Similarly, sales executives can use it to gauge the mood of a customer, helping them to choose the most effective tone for a conversation.Ĭognitive empathy is a mostly rational, intellectual, and emotionally neutral ability. Managers may find cognitive empathy useful in understanding how their team members are feeling, and therefore what style of leadership would get the best from them today. It need not involve any emotional engagement by the observer.

Cognitive EmpathyĬognitive empathy is the ability to understand what another person might be thinking or feeling. Īnd Mind Tools Premium club members and Corporate users can listen to our exclusive interview with Daniel Goleman. We discuss each stage in turn, below.įind out how emotionally intelligent you are by taking our emotional intelligence quiz. It develops through three stages: cognitive empathy, emotional empathy and compassionate empathy. Sympathy may develop into empathy, but doesn't necessarily do so.Īccording to influential psychologist Daniel Goleman, empathy is one of the five key components of emotional intelligence – a vital leadership skill. You can feel sympathy for someone you see in tears in the street, for example, without knowing anything about their situation. Unlike empathy, sympathy doesn't involve shared perspective or emotions. Sympathy is a feeling of concern for someone, and a sense that they could be happier. At its most developed, empathy enables you to use that insight to improve someone else's mood and to support them through challenging situations.Įmpathy is often confused with sympathy, but they are not the same thing. In its simplest form, empathy is the ability to recognize emotions in others, and to understand other people's perspectives on a situation. We'll look at how a few simple actions can help us to create stronger connections, to build a culture of honesty and openness, and to make a real difference to the emotional well-being, and productivity, of our colleagues.

In this article, we explore what it really means to show empathy. Are you able to see things from someone else's point of view?

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